i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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