I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
