now i know why i became what i already was.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
