We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
