So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
