my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
