Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
