piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
