Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
