Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
