How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
