I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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