I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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