So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
