Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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