definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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