in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
