I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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