she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize