you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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