Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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