Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize