i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
