At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
