You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
