she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
