so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
