Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
