Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
