I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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