No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
