is your mom at the bar?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
