names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
