i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
