Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm just crazy horny about you
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
