my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
