So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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