Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
