the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
