I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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