Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
