Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
