So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
