Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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