wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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