My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
COCAINE IS GR8
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
