Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
