opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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