Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
