Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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