First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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