A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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