One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
